How to Bounce Back From Disappointment
“Fall seven times, get up eight.”
— Japanese Proverb
Triathletes experience a gamut of emotions before, during, and after practice and competition, ranging from exhilaration and pride to frustration and disappointment. Too often, an athlete personally experiences Murphy’s Law: Whatever can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible moment.
You wake up race morning to a thunderstorm, choppy water, and slick roads. Setting up the transition, you discover you forgot to pack gels, plus the handlebar tape is coming unraveled, along with your nerves. Your goggles fog, you flat at mile 17, and a blister on the bottom of your left foot becomes torturous every time your running shoe hits the pavement.
One of the most essential attributes of a mentally tough athlete is resiliency—the ability to bounce back after setbacks. Furthermore, the best athletes bounce back with renewed determination to succeed. The true sign of greatness (whether in sports or real life) is not who you are or what you accomplish when everything is fine, but rather who you are and what you bring forth when something (or everything) goes wrong.
Competitors who respond to adversity more optimistically tend to be more aggressive and take more risks than those who react with pessimism and helplessness. Triathletes who take a positive approach when facing undesirable situations are more apt to maintain the energy, focus, and vigor needed to compete successfully or to cross the finish.
The most stressful incidents in life and sports are those that are unexpected and uncontrollable. We have no control over weather, mechanical failures, or another competitor’s performance. However, we can control our reactions.
Dr. Paul Stolz, author of The Adversity Advantage, suggests that “between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness.”
If you respond with despair, this bears the weight of finality and hopelessness. You destroy any confidence or motivation to embrace the next challenge. If you play the blame game, this results in anger, energy drain, and a negative shift in focus.
To develop the skill of resiliency, you must first shift perspective, focusing more on progress than perfection and possibilities rather than problems. How can you use this experience to become a stronger athlete and to expand your capacity for dealing with adversity and disappointment?
Many athletes admit that, in retrospect, facing their most challenging disappointments and defeats has taught them valuable lessons and strengthened them mentally, physically, and emotionally. The way you handle a setback or disappointment today affects your level of confidence and resiliency in future competitions.
Take a moment to honestly examine the roots of your disappointment. Is it based on the fear of disappointing others, losing respect, or feeling embarrassed? Have you placed too much emphasis on this aspect of your life so that your self-identity and self-worth are reliant upon successful outcomes?
Finally, it is important to accept ownership of any mistakes
or weaknesses that may have contributed to a less-than-ideal performance. If we are to reach our goals, we must first acknowledge what went wrong, what part we played in that, and what we can do in the future to correct or strengthen those areas.
Remember, everyone fails now and then, and even failure can be perceived as a success if it results in personal growth. Most importantly, commit to applauding yourself when you respond to setbacks like a champion.
Ask Cheryl
Q: I had hoped to win my age group at our local half-Iron man but failed miserably, finishing last in a field of 23. It was so embarrassing, and I keep replaying it over and over in my mind. I’m not sure if I have what it takes to try again.
A: One of the saddest and most common issues I face when working with clients is helping to dust off and cheer up an athlete who is beating himself up after a disappointing competition. The sad part is that most of the time, these athletes had no clear personal goal set prior to the event, but somehow believed that they would perform well by simply willing it on race day.
It is essential that you first define exactly what success and failure mean to you. Rather than base this on “winning,” determine a personal time goal that is measurable. You cannot control how your competitors perform, but you can aspire to achieve your own standard of excellence.
Published by Active.com
View their article here: http://www.active.com/cycling/articles/how-to-bounce-back-from-disappointment
